FML.

Worst decision of my fucking life.

SMH.

What the fuck did I get myself into.

I be up all night.

...Whole crew's in here... LOL

Anyways... I'm inside of my dorm room. Bored as a muthafucka. Sooooo, for the sake of that last statement, muthafuckas are greater than or equal to how bored I currently am.

I still love my Beats.

I'm not particularly excited about the forensics "season" this year... Mainly because I've never done anything like it. EVER. Shouts to Mary Melton and Ryan Louis, though, for the scholarship opportunity, though. LOL. I think I'll recite some Talib Kweli, Lemon, and (my NIGGA) Shihan.

I officially started writing for my next mixtape, though. I know (the non-exisitent) readers of my blog have read this SAME statement for over a year, but, it's official. I'm definitely in the process of getting my shit together. "Just gotta make it!"

And... I'm in love with Pharrell Williams. No homo, whatsoever. I'm listening to Kenna's "Say Goodbye to Love" instrumental. Wow. And that Despicable Me soundtrack. WOW.

That is all for now.

'Til next post...

Dee Ell (the illest nigga not even close to signing a deal).

Bored.

The only reason I'm posting at this point in time is because of my very mild case of OCD. I must de-virginize (like that one? LOL) everything on MY LAPTOP THAT I JUST GOT, BITCH! That is, to post a FaceBook status, watch a YouTube video, post a blog, etc. Shouts to my fajah for this joint.

Oh, and I'm at Ottawa University and I'd like to thank everyone here for showing me how much I hate this area and how much I miss Kansas City. I'll be regularly posting now that I have a means to do so from my jail-esque dorm room.

I'm back (to music), I promise.

No more Kmart...
No more D.Linquent...
It's Dee Ell, now.

Two mixtape concepts planned (and I'm writing to them...)
...A synethesia-feel to them... Lots of colors, but for good reason.

Black on One Side/Yellow on One Side (double CD)

Pink and Blu

What's a molotov cocktail that don't break the glass?

LOL. Recognize... I'm back.

I'll officially be THAT DUDE at Ottawa University in the fall. Shouts to me, I made it [kinda].

But yeah... The old situation isn't quite resolved until I release every bit of information I have. Sad, but I don't care.

Soooooooo.... Nothing was going on??? (She sent me this message after she caught me MERELY talking to a girl whom I claimed I didn't like...)

**********

MaKayla Goins December 3, 2009 at 5:21pm Report

Still fckn HEATED. How the FUCK you gone stand out there with her like that and when I'm walking away linger along with her whispering her shit? FUCK YO STUPID BITCH ASS. WANNA BE THAT COOL GUY NIGGA. FOR REAL, YOUR FUCKING STUPID.

I NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE YOU , AND HOPE I NEBER HAVE TO MEET ANYONE LIKE THAT AGAIN. YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE. YOU DON'T AT ALL. YOU AND HER ARE FAKE. FUCK YOU AND HAVE FUN WITH HER GLITTER ASS. FUCKING FAKE ASS. I SWEAR YOU ONE FAKE ASS MOTHERFUCKER.
AND THEN YOU GONNA WRITE HER ON SCHOOL LOOP IN FRONT OF ME LIKE THAT AND SEND HER PICTURES AND SHIT. OMFGGGGGG I FUCKING HATE YOU. FUCK YOU. DONT' FUCKING TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN.

HOW THE FUCK YOU GONE DO THAT? SERIOUSLY. YOU NEVER THINK ON HOW IM GONNA FEEL. HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU FEEL IF I WAS MESSAGING FUCKING TRINITY OR SOMEONE IN FRONT OF YOU FLIRTING, SENDING PICTURES AND SHIT?

YOU NEVER FUCKING THINK, can you fucking start THINKING for once? & realize you DON'T care. you DON'T care. YOU DON'T CARE.
YOU DONT CARE
YOU DON'T CARE YOU DONT CARE YOU DONT CARE YOU DONT CARE YOU DON'T CARE. YOU DON'T CARE YOU DON'T CARE YOU DON'T CARE.

YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE. FUCK YOU AND ALL YOUR FACEBOOK BITCHES, FUCK KIANNAS BITCH ASS, FUCK WHOEVER ELSE YOU TALK TO.

FUCKING BABIES DADDY ASS. FUCKING ROT FOR ALL I CARE. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FAKE ASS BITCH.

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.
FUCKING FUCK YOU. BITCH ASS NIGGA.
YOU STUPID ASS BITCH ASS NIGGA. FUCKING SCARED TO SHOW ME THE MESSAGES CAUSE I'LL FUCKING BEAT YOUR BITCH ASS. LIKE TODAY.

FUCK YOU BITCH

**********

Very harsh... LMFAO. I win, again.

I'm back at blogging though. I've been slaving at Kmart and getting fresh lately. Being a good pops! Happy late Father's Day to me, though! Woooooooord...

Young Gunz.

While sitting in Recent History class, I'm currently playing DJ Jazzy Jeff's "For Da Love of Da Game." I am PISSED that GrooveShark isn't working on this piece of detrius that is the school-issued laptop. So, here...

So, as I moved up to my new room, I unpacked one box that contained various CDs that I owned (or just have for some reason), including (but not limited to [LOL]):

Eamon - I Don't Want You Back
Jibbs - Jibbs feat. Jibbs
Dr. Dre - 2001
Tyga - No Introduction
Linkin Park - Reanimation
DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince - Homebase
Vanilla Ice - To the Xtreme (LMFAO)
"West Coast Mix" (mostly songs from 'Radio Los Santos' and NWA members/affiliates)

and

Young Gunz - Tough Luv



That is a GREAT album, fuck what you heard.

Chris and Neef spit something SERIOUS. And the production for a majority of the songs was BANANAS! Most notably "Future of the Roc," "Roc U," "Never Take Me Alive," "Tough Luv," "Grown Man," and "Look in your Eyes." Crazy shit.

On a sidenote, this substitute is a fucker, trying to actually teach and ask questions and shit. He CLEARLY doesn't know my status in this muhfucka (LOL). Back to business...

Yeah... Young Gunz. It's too bad that fuckers think that "Money Mike" "ended their careers." Fuck outta here. FIRST OFF, I don't think that Neef dissed "Money Mike" when he said "We don't mess with the funny type/fake ass pimps like Money Mike." SMH.

Shout out to Mica, Micaela, the twins, and Matthia. Shouts to a particular follower of the blog that makes me look like Ike Turner. Annnnnd, FAT shouts to bootleg Randy Jackson. You made my Monday memorable on an otherwise boring-as-fuck workday... And (little did you know) your daughter constantly made my... March, April, May, June, July, August, September (especially), October, November, December, and January (ESPECIALLY). In various ways.

Her father is 40-something attempting to fight an 18 year old. I'd most likely lose due to his crackhead past, I hear they can box. Uncle tom, fuckouttahere.

I win. You'll NEVER have the upper hand on me. EVER. Your intellect is nowhere near mine. You lose. I win. We could've worked it out, prevented this all. I win.

RIP Guru.

Devastating loss in the hip-hop community...

I'm not gonna front, I've ONLY heard him rap on Gangstarr's "Mass Appeal", but still.

It's not like when Dolla died, niggaz [and bitches] were bumpin' "Make a Toast" and shit.

I was actually a fan... Check my MySpace influences and see "Gangstarr" on there (LOL @ the thought of MySpace).

Yes.

Who loves strings?

DARNELL LOVES STRINGS. I DO, I DO, I DOO-OOOOO!
SO BEAUTIFUL TO MY EARS.

I'm in a good mood, but...

You are... a lying ass bitch. Suck dick with leftover vaginal secretions on it (sound familiar?). And before anyone gets "inflated-head," let me burst that... You're constantly on my blog because your whore-isms stay on my mind. Bitch. Talkin' 'bout a restraining order. You're the one who made contact with ME at school. Tell people the entire story before you talk about getting the law involved. Fuck 5-O (including your relative who's one-time). And get your story together too, dead ass. How the FUCK could I send MYSELF the pictures from YOUR PHONE when I PURPOSELY included a body part of me in all of them just in case something like this happened (I knew this would happen)? And how was I begging you for sex when you CLEARLY sent me messages that read "I just wanted it in my mouth" and said thing like... I was dead about to go on, but, it's like fuck it. There's no getting through to you, ho. When did it become cool to be a slut? And to Nick Cannon guy, when did it become cool to STAY with a slut, dun? No hating,"man."

LMFAO @ you thinking of using this as evidence to have something bad happen to me. Not happening. Because, at that point, you'd have to tell them everything you did, too. You can't lie to the pigs.

"Women lie, men lie."

Mixtape coming May 7th.

Drake, shut the FUCK up.

I may have "hated" on him, then started to enjoy his shit, but after reading this shit, I've had e-fuckin'-nuff. Damn, man.

SHUT THE FUCK UP SAYING THAT PEOPLE DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU, DROOPY.

In every DAMN song, he's HAS to include some bars about one of three things... In EVERY SONG.

1. How quickly he got signed and created hype.
2. How no one ever achieved this level of success (in a short time).
3. Some false story about his struggle to make it.

"For anybody that doesn't believe me, your favorite rappers do."

You can tell he was a fucking loser in school, because I feel as though this was the first time he has been accepted in life. He always fucking talks about this shit. Jesus, homie, just shut up, Aubrey. You know how you can tell if a kid never scored any points in a basketball or football game due to their excessive celebration? Well, that's how Drizzy is acting. ACT LIKE YOU'VE BEEN THERE. If you were REALLY the shit, then it really wouldn't be THAT big of a deal.

I have a verse on a track on Irv Da Phenom's "Tire Shops and Night Clubs" project... He's a rather big deal in Kansas City, as far as rappers go. I didn't go around saying, "I'm ill, I'm on Irv Da Phenom's shit, boy! He tours with Tech N9ne and Strange Music! Bitch. A real rapper co-signs me so I'm fuckin' ill!" No, I let people hear it when they either asked about Irv or asked "when you droppin' some new shit."

Oh, yeah... Then there's this bullshit.

"Understand nothing was done for me."

SHUT THE FUCK UP. You were probably a millionaire before you started rapping.

And you're not gangster, soooooo, good luck trying to EVER leave Young Money... LMFAO.

Not hating, because he can rhyme with the best of them. Shut up, Drake.

You should be ASHAMED of your fuckin' self, boy!

(...said Kanye in "Pinocchio Story")

I knew that everything would come crashing down like this...

"With this in mind, I still didn't quit/ And that's how I know that I ain't shit"

- Malice - "I'm Not U"

Wow. I need to be schooled in hip-hop... So, I'm searching for beats on Jamglue (as usual)... J. Dilla, nigga. 'Nuff said.

Too many ideas.

There's really no expanding the title. I have probably had about 40 or so ideas for my next mixtape...

It's 1:30 in the morning, and it sucks that this is the time I am the most creative.

I'm thinking of all Lupe beats for the next mixtape... This idea might actually stick. Dead ass... I'm just putting all of the material that consisted of actual PEOPLE aside [for now, at least]. Instead, I'll just take slight (but HARD) shots at them in the songs. LOL @ me TELLING that I'm gonna have subliminal attacks in my songs. 10 songs (slightly more or slightly less) and some skits. I got half of it done, man... And fuck selling the mixtapes or creating a buzz (for now). I'm doing this shit for the love of doing it, and for therapeutic reasons. NO LIE. I'll just so happen to give the CD to some people. Here we go.

And on a similar note, I was viewing my monthly CCS catalog and saw a shirt that said "I [LOVE] BITERS!" I must purchase that shirt. Even though I hate them.

Outty 5,000. (Look, look! Gander, gander!)

Word? Aight!

Okaaaay. So, I'm here in physics class. Cool...

Before I go on, I just have one thing to say. I'm SINCERELY sorry for anything I posted in the past that may have offended some readers.*

Here's a list of random topics on my mind (that I'm too lazy to actually blog extensively about).

1. Blood diamond... No, not the movie. We're learning about the Democratic Republic of the Congo in Recent History class (the class I don't even need, but I learn the most in), and it's appalling to me how groups of people "rape-over" other peoples' land. The number one continent for diamonds is the poorest? SMH. Not just white people, either (although they're the most guilty). The Rape of Nanking was a despicable act, as well.

2. Chivalry is DEAD. OVER. It's a sad day when I can attract girls with my work uniform on and my glasses, and they literally throw themselves at me... Dead ass, though. Hoes give their numbers out like it's nothing. LITERALLY. Meaning, all I have to do is ask... I mean, it was fun at first when I was trying to be a "mack" and get all the girls, but... Where's the challenge? At least with this current situation, I have a challenge... I feel like I have to try very hard (although I'm failing). The 32 bar verses and thoughtful songs I've written fall on deaf ears. Oh well. And on a similar note, the first verse to Kanye West's "Heartless" and the second verse to Charles Hamilton's "Mr. Perfect" perfectly describe this shit. And [most of] the hook to Timbaland's "Say Somethin'." And countless other songs.

3. Top 5 Illuminati artists: Jay-Z, Lady Gaga, Little Wayne, Eminem, Kanye West.

4. It's always good to have someone to look up to... Both someone you know personally and a celebrity.

5. "Race-mixing" is slowly leading to the end of the world as we know it (no KKK member). Not in a good way or bad way... Everyone's gonna be a nigga sooner or later. No lie. Go to a mostly white school... The star [black] point guard more than likely dates a white female. The peer-pressure of "You ain't hittin' that though" will 'cause him to "hit it" and, BOOM. Mixed baby. SMH. I love all races though, except hoodrats and hood figgas.

Time for 3rd block.

"I'm [as real as it gets], I'm real, like legit. They say I'm an asshole, so pardon if I feel I'm the shit." - Sciryl

*April Fools Day, bitches.

San. Tana. AYE!

Fly as shit, no homo.

I MUST pay homage to Juelz Santana...

I'd say that he is where most of my rap style came from, especially in my early days... He was the foundation, actually. I really appreciated his usage of homophones and overall multi-syllable rhymes. THE "BACK LIKE COOKED CRACK" SERIES WAS... well, CRACK! Also, I really loved his clothes style (ULTRA-PAUSE) and he was my influence during a majority of my 10th grade year. Let me break it down as follows:

**********

Percentage of my rap style in (late 2006- early 2009):

45% Juelz Santana - If you've ever listened to Santana and listened to my earlier stuff (Comedy Central Freestyle), you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. You know how him and Cam'ron would rhyme things with the same things? Yeah. Though Santana's stuff has been commercial lately, I can't bite the hand that made me.

40% Fabolous - My voice was very monotone, and I used the multi-syllable rhyming patterns similar to Loso's. The "Loso's Way: Rise to Power" mixtape was something SERIOUS.

10% Lupe Fiasco - The part of me that rapped "real shit" was my inner-Lupe. Food & Liquor was probably the inspiration for me dropping the "gangsta lyrics."

5% Clipse (Malice) - I really enjoyed how Malice used his phrases... Who says things like "That's exactly why the caged bird sings" and "It shames me to no end?" Fuckin' MALICE, nigga. ILL.

**********

There's only a select few rappers and select a few beats that have made me do my signature "OOOoOOOOhh SHIT!" thing... Santana's lyrics have had several "OOOOoooOOoOhhh SHIT!" moments...

AYE!

I'm writing to this "Warning" beat by Eminem... If anyone heard this song, it's gonna be social suicide for me. Oh, well. I still win in the end.

Women lie...

Men lie.

Who would think that a song that by fuckin' Yo Gotti and Little Dwayne would have such a powerful title...

Wow. I'm overwhelmed. No, not because a bitch did some shit or an ill song I heard... It's because my mother told me she was proud of me. Pinch me, I'm dreaming.

Hip-hop morning.

Nasir Jones. ILL!
Prodigy from the infamous Mobb Deep. ILL!
Rappers from Queensbridge in general (minus Ron Artest). ILL!

Don't disrespect New York... EVER. From the BK to the BX to Harlem to the 'Bridge to South Shore to Queens. New York IS hip-hop. Niggaz still ain't caught up. Especially not those wack ass niggaz in the south... SMH.

I must admit, I thought Prodigy sucked because the only time I heard him rap was in a freestyle on Rap City a few years back (he was actually freestyling so it sucked). Free Prodigy, dun.

And fuckin' Slaughterhouse (the rap group) is something SERIOUS. Joe Budden, Crooked I, Joell Ortiz, and Royce Da 5'9" in the same group, collectively? WOW. Fuck what you heard about Joe Budden, he's the truth.

ANNNNND... I can't believe I am a hip-hopper and I am JUST NOW listening to that "God's Son" album. Wow.

Too bad Nas a part of that Illuminati, industry bullshit. Damn Jay-Z...

So, um. Blogging from my phone just isn't like using Twitter or updating my FaceBook status... Whatever. On a sidenote, Lupe Fiasco's Food & Liquor is the best album thus far. Bye.

Random Top Fives for 3/22/10.

I'm personally on an academic strike since I'm fresh from earning a scholarship. On a similar rant, I would have an extra $1,000 if I wasn't SCREWED OVER for my Homecoming King crown. I guess they must help who needs it the most or something. (OOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!)

Here we go! Pardon me for the lack of description, but since I'm a genius, I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

**********

Top 5 Record Labels I would sign to (if given the opportunity):

1. 1st and 15th
2. Aftermath/Shady
3. Star Trak
4. GOOD Music
5. Rawkus Records

----------

Top 5 items I'm copping in the foreseeable future:

1. Nixon Black Rubber Player Watch
2. Supra Skytop II (black/white/red)
3. Another Ralph Lauren Polo
4. A new game for XBOX360... (Modern Warfare 2 is getting fuckin' old)
5. I [heart] VA shirt

----------

Top 5 things I sing while doing random stuff:

1. "Weeee coulda woooorked it oooouuut. But I guess things change."
2. JaSUN DeRuuuUUUUuuulooo
3. "Don't when I dive, I dive deeeeeeeeeeep?"
4. "The motivation for me is them tellin' me what I could not be... Oh, well.
5. "I'm comin' back, I'm comin' baaacccck..."

----------

Top 5 celebrities I would wife (Shi Reeves doesn't count because I been there, done that):

1. Rosario Dawson
2. Bria Myles
3. Keke Palmer
4. Teyana Taylor (only because she's fly as shit)
5. Vashtie

----------

Top 5 reasons why I'm a genius:

1. My complex thinking hasn't been used by anyone else (thus far)
2. I isolated myself as a preteen and early teen, thus giving me time to get smart over the internet, TV, books (yes, books), and other ways.
3. I can still admit that I'm wrong, but still look smart doing THAT.
4. I've obliterated EVERYONE who tried to pick an argument with me.
5. I just can't be wrong. It's impossible. "The only time I was wrong was when I thought I was wrong" (never)

**********

3rd block time. Time to discuss music with my future A&R... My nigga Kenneth!

Peace, thun.

Dam Funk - Mirrors.

This is fuckin' ill.

I heard this song while I was blackin', spending hundreds of dollars at Urban Outfitters a few weeks back.

"Look inside your soooouuuulllll..."

And on a similar note, I'm a muthafuckin' lyrical wordsmith muthafuckin' genius!

100th post!(?)

Go me! 100 posts of quality, intelligent venting (and other shit)!

AY YAY YAY YOOOOO!

To celebrate, all I have to say is this:

MAMA SAY... MAMA SAH. MAMA KOO SAH.

Shouts to the E Twins, Aubz, Elijah, Esa Traviesa, Spree, Shenna, Kay (lmfao), Lou Five, and everyone else who reads this.

(Terminator) I'll be back.

edit: Apparently the blogger.com dashboard is fucked up... is this REALLY my hundredth post? Or perhaps my 99th post? Or, as the dashboard says, my 105th post? Whatever, I'm still leaving. Bye, bitches.

Oh my Christ the King...

I'M OFFICIALLY BEING STALKED.

Please, stop. I'm begging you. It's NOT flattering in any way, shape, form, or fashion. You imitate my speech, my blog URL, the actual CONTENT of my blog, and countless other things. There's honestly far too many things to count. You're a habitual BITER. QUIT.

Disclaimer: If I actually give a damn about you, I don't care if you take my phrases and parts of my personality rub off on you (ultra pause). In fact, I totally welcome it.

YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, I DON'T LIKE. I DON'T LIKE YOU. I DON'T FUCKING LIKE YOU. YOUR VERY EXISTENCE MEANS NOTHING TO ME.

And don't think too highly of yourself, either, just because this is the second time I've written about your stalker-ish ways... because you're NOT important to my life AT ALL, despite what you may think. You're a non-factor. Fuck what you thought... None of the important decisions in my life are in any way affected by YOU. Stop it. Or as you would say (one of the phrases that you totally BIT from me, as well as many other phrases) "CUT IT THE FUCK OUT." Even YOU know you're nothing but a fucking biter, too... Remember that time I confronted you for straight COPYING [someone who shall remain nameless's] MySpace information? CASE IN POINT.

I regret even posting this and wasting bandwidth and time. But, since you're a fucking stalker, I figure you'll read this... Because I sure as fuck aren't contacting you personally.

Another thing, stop acting like an intellectual and an outcast/rebel/white girl, because God knows you're FAR from such.

This post is not even considered an actual vent, because this shit is outrageous. Go ahead, respond... I promise on my LIFE that I don't give a fuck. I won't even bother looking at the absurdity that is your would-be response, especially since your rebuttal means less than a used toothpick to me. In fact, I didn't even try to look at your stalkerisms before, I just so happened to not block you on MySpace (yet) and saw your status. In a nutshell, STOP FOLLOWING MY LIFE. I know it's a free Internet and all, but, STOP. Fill out college applications, study, do something productive with your life instead of e-stalking me.

That's all I'm saying about this individual whom I don't give a fuck about. As far as I'm concerned, this was a waste of my time, but a relieving one. I've blocked off all communication, so there's no way I can SEE any of this malarkey ANYMORE. And if YOU personally contact me, you tried REALLY hard to do such (thus proving that your life centers around looking into my life). I'm done. STOP, QUIT, CEASE. ENDED.

And TRY to blackmail me. It's not going to work in your favor, trust me.

Since we're from the hood, I'll suitably end it with this...

"L.I.G. it, man... Let it go... LET IT GO."

New mixtape details.

Before I go on... I ask you to PLEASE disregard all of the nonsense I have blogged about in previous posts. That was foolish, and, truthfully, I only went that deep into it on this blog because I didn't feel like rapping [or singing ;)] about it.

And, I seriously think it's time for a tonsillectomy. This is fucking outrageous, man.


At any rate...

MACBOOKS AND MANIC DEPRESSION

I promise, this isn't like the (now defunct idea) "Trifecta" series, which is probably never coming out. I just condensed some of these songs into this mixtape.

This mixtape will contain NO "street" songs... In other words, nothing on this mixtape will appeal to the gangstaz or the hustlaz, unless, of course, they've experienced some of the things I've experienced. Okay, MAYBE ONE "street" joint. I'm ill.

The title is simple: 808s and Heartbreak, except MY version (and little original production... WHAT UP, FINO!) I record on my laptop (MacBooks) and I regularly experience emotions that will lead some people to believe that I suffer from bipolar disorder (the other name for it is (Manic Depression). There you have it.

It will feature significantly less content (around 10-15 songs) than my previous two mixtapes... I still got it, though. You know how I does it, dunnie.

Dissimulation.

Good thing I never got around to recording this (See "Whew!!!" in the August posts). Oh, and I "poor-man's patent" all of the shit I write. AND I wrote this in mid-August... Yeah. And of course it would sound better (and probably make more sense) if I was performing this myself. I'm pathetic, (but I'm still that nigga, flyer than everyone, etc.) because this reminds me of when I'd call Breanna and leave her voicemails of me rapping verses. WACK.

**********

We're never gettin' along, so isn't it wrong
That I think of you when I get my intimate on?
Then I listen to songs
You made me angry, so lately, I vent on my blog
Still callin' me a "playah," well, hate the game
I hate to say our relationship ain't the same
I take the pain that I feel when people say your name
But it's so fuckin' hard tryna make a change
Just knowing I could never be with you
It seems that it never would get through your mind when I said that I missed you
Jealousy issues
At first, but later, I'd be ready to kiss you
I see you with that nigga, I'm especially pissed, too
That's you main, I guess I'm second, and it's cool
But not for real, I fell so easy
I guess it's L-O-V-E (dead ass)

And somewhere along the lines, things got hard and I
Up and got pissed, I fuckin' lost it
But really all was fine
'Til somethin' hopped on my mind. It's bloggin' time!
Always lookin' at FaceBook
Statuses, I'm mad and shit, you couldn't relate good
And that's very logical
You steady tellin' me to end the jealousy, but that there's impossible
But for you, I got into a lot of trouble, prolly double
"That's not D, that's a body double!"
We gotta cuddle, but too bad we're not a couple
We had massive potential to be the hottest couple
I'm a rocket shuttle. I'm heated, believe it
I'm hopin' soon I give up
'Cause I ruined enough, I'm feelin' stupid and dumb
But just so you know, I do it because (I love you)

Your likin' of me, I know that it's shrinkin'
But my eyes not closin' or blinkin'
Without you, boo, I'ma boat, and I'm sinkin'
Corny right? See, I know what you're thinkin'
You sayin' "You don't love me, you just love my ass"
Yeah, I do, I love to touch and grab and smack it like you did something bad
I'm fuckin' bad
So [if] I smashed from the back, you should know I'm gonna brag
But seriously though, I hope you're hearin' me, yo
'Cause I'm weary, you know?
So? I'm a whore, and I ignore you. I know, I'm evil
So what? I have a hard time gettin' over people
Remember all the words we created?
I'm nothingness now, it hurts and I hate it
First I should face it, my minds doin' backflips
I'ma try movin' past this (Dammit)

**********

And that's better than any bouquet of flowers, bitch.

I'm odd.

I'm odd because I'm a shit-talking blogger.

I don't know why a lot of my posts are about this bitch. Then again, I always "fall" for the sluts, anyways.

Notice (in the below e-mail) how she said something along the lines of "No one will ever know the real story," or some bullshit like that. Umm... That's moderately accurate, because BOTH OF US are withholding the REAL story. I don't give a fuck if it gets me in trouble, either. If they ONLY knew... Bitch. I'll GLADLY tell him what ACTUALLY happened all those times... But will YOU tell HER? HA!

And all that malarkey about people wanting to "beat her ass..." Fuckouttahere with that, ho. AGAIN, it's a lose-lose for you, dun. If people are sending you messages, then you're a Facebook celebrity... If they didn't really send you the messages, then you LIED (like always, bitch).

"Even when you're winning, it's a lose-lose situation"

Um. What else?

No hate AT ALL... but I could've tricked all my money on you if I cared about you that much (at the time).

I'm sooooooo wrong for the whole "vaginal secretions" thing. Then again, you weren't skilled AT ALL. Do you kiss him with those lips? Oh, wait... You don't kiss, because, yeah... Phahahahaha!!! I win by default because you admitted that you were a ho. You tried. LOL. At least there's always the pictures.

Why am I mad if I think all this negative stuff about her? EASY. I don't get dissed.

So, I checked my e-mail, today.

I read this as I listen to "Bria's Interlude" by Drake and Omarion.

**********

I don't care anymore deadass.

I didn't make any mistake, your the one who made out with Kianna and was still fckng Aubrie.
So I just started talking back with him. Like you said "Play or be played" righhh?
So I really don't know why you buggin, you obviously didn't give a ish about me if you were out doing that.

righhhh? Like I seriously don't want you in my life anymore. You did some real mean ish to me that I will never accept
I would be the dumbest chick ever to keep you in my life.

No one knows the real thing as meaning, you your circus swear you have me figured out when you don't.
Your just as bad as Aubrie I swear.

Like I'm so serious when I say LEAVE ME ALONE.

I don't freaking care how hard it is. You act like you have to talk to me every friggin day dude.
I'll promise you one thing. I will talk to you once a week.. like for an hour or so..
I'm serious when I say that.. fck what you think. I'm just eliminating drama out my life and that's the only way I see it happening.

Until I change my number of course.

Duh those things bother me because none of that stuff is true. and there you fckn go brining up my gap again.
Fckng gosh man just LEAVE ME THE FCK ALONE. You keep bringing up this personal ish that pis$es me the FCK off.

LEAVE ME ALONE, I'M SERIOUS.

You never did appreciate any of the little simple nice things i did.. Like seriously.
If you did you wouldn't have pushed me away into someone else's arms.
Don't even bother to reply back or text me because I just put a flat out block on my phone, I'm sick of yours Aubries drama.
You keep texting calling me which is making her more pis$ed off and becoming more physco, now she's tryna fight the world.

Do me you a favor, lose my number, stop texting/calling me. just EVERYTHING.

STOP.

BYE FOREVER.

**********

And the whole message, she still didn't admit that she was a ho. Shit's crazy, dun. I guess all I have to say (again, and again, and again) is that it's not blackmail if I don't demand anything from her. Hmm. I WIN.

"Even when you're winning, it's a lose-lose situation..."

Oh, Drake... and other shit.

Pretty homo title, but whatever.

Fuckin' Drake, man... ILL AS FUCK. Pardon me for semi-hating on him before. The nigga is ill. Not quite fuckin' with Chuck, but, then again, who is?

I was listening to the "So Far Gone" mixtape... ILL. My favorite song (that I've been singing at work) is "Bria's Interlude." Perhaps I was hating on him because he was fucking my other wife, Bria Myles (sorry, Shi). Whatever. Droopy killed that shit.

I love her.

And about MaKayla... You're mean.

AND FUCK LUCAS SITTON. DIE, BITCH. I can't believe I didn't blog about getting pulled over and paying a $240 ticket... Over not signaling in time.

Fuck.

I'm ill[y].

Damn, every time I listen to "the Previews Mixtape" or "Weirdo," it becomes clearer that I am the illest rapper I've heard.

Some feelings will be hurt on this next mixtape... Sorry, but not really. I'm ill.

That's that... Pretty much...

myspace.com/dlinquentmusic

I saw this, then I LOL'd.

So, I check my school email account, and I noticed a new message entitled "Run for Winter Formal Royalty!"

Well, after LOL'ing at the thought of actually doing it, I quietly said to myself...

FUCK NO.

To anyone who doesn't know of the disaster that was me running for homecoming royalty, read my past vents.

**********

Anyways, Ms. Vargas has a shitload of makeup on today. Still, I enjoyed watching her walk away. Call me sprung, that's not what it is though, bitch. (LOL)

I have all these song ideas, all I have to do is put them together, man... It's not as easy as before, I admit. I was a beast before, now I'm just good. Gotta get back on that level.

**********

I'm uber-disappointed in myself for JUST NOW hearing that "Charles Hamilton is Back" song (by Charles Hamilton). That joint was BANANAS, nigga!

I'm out like flannels in a few months.

It's been an hour.

Get it? You know how people say... Never mind...
So, yeah, I'm here.

In a nutshell, here's what I've been doing:

Playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (Someone please beat me, I'm tired of winning LOL)
Playing various PSone games on my PSP.
Working.
Watching porn.
Overdrafting my checking account.
Getting money to pay for my overdraft.
Being pissed off that the item I bought that caused the overdraft SUCKED. Damn you, EA Sports.

Hmmm. I'm gonna graduate high school. Oh yeah!!! Clap for me. Oh, wait, I never get claps. Bullshit.

Um.

It's 11:00pm. I just completed my consuming of two Spicy Chick'n Crisps and two double cheeseburgers from Burger King. I love my metabolism.

Yo, where the FUCK is Show TuFli's album!?? Ugh.

Shouts to the twins. Shouts to the readers of darnellleonard.blogspot.com. Shouts to all the good, helpful people in my life and the good, helpful people that have randomly appeared in my life to give my car a jump after I discovered that I left my lights on at the Legends a week before Christmas. What up!

Today, I didn't go to school. I ate Burger King inside the restaurant. Yum. Original chicken sandwich. Fck yea. I had work at 3:30... at 3:05 I needed a quick one, so I watched 30 second clips of Sandi Jackmon. Then I rushed to work. Oh, and I forgot to deodorant my underpits. Let's just say I move a lot on the job. There wasn't a lot of arm-raising today. LOL.

Whatever. Who knows when I'll post again.

Mixtape coming in May (really...).

I love you, Ms. Vargas (no R. Kelly).

So.

I'm alive and well.

TTYL.