Sunday, May 24, 2009

Addicted? (And rants on a kinda ex-girlfriend)

I'm real. No, not "Plies" real... ACTUAL real. Being that I'm so real, I'd like to share with the readers of this blog a lil something about me.

I, D.Linquent, am possibly (more like definitely) addicted to porn.

Yes, yes... I constantly visit those sites where they give you the links to sites with 15-20 second preview videos. Every day. I tried to stop. But... I can't. It's damn near impossible.

(The following is completely relevant to the topic)

While I was looking at FaceBook statues, I noticed a certain friend who happens to kinda be my ex-girlfriend that's in college far from here... I went to her page to see who has been writing her... You know, the usual stalking that everyone does... Then I looked at her pictures. And her pictures were sexy. That started to give me the urge to... You know. So I did. I went to my beloved websites ( and and did my (ahem) thing for about 30-40 minutes. The list of porn starlets that I watched were as follows:

Candice Nicole
Lisa Ann
Sienna West
Beauty Dior
Ice LaFox
Luscious Louis

and of course...

Shi Reeves.

I love her. So much. That's why I wrote a song about her on my mixtape. But, sorry, Shi... Ice LaFox may replace you since you quit doing porn...


Maybe I like Shi Reeves so much because she resembles (or reminds me of) that aformentioned kinda ex-girlfriend. She also resembles (and reminds me of) my current girlfriend. IN FACT, each of the porn starlets listed above remind me of someone I know/knew that I wanted to fuck. Sorry, it's the truth (remember, I'm REEEEAAAAL).

Really, though...

If that kinda ex-girlfriend who is in college now would give me 10 minutes of her time, I would probably only need 3 (LMFAO). TALK TO ME, DAMMIT! Message me!!! Let me know that you still know I exist! I'm a rapper! I'm 'bout to make something out of my life! AAAGHH! I won't message you because I don't want to piss you off or receive one or two word answers from you. By the way, your last boyfriend was not as fly, attractive (no homo), or creative as me... Overall, he wasn't on my caliber. Who gives a fuck, I know you fucked my mentor (the guy who started me off in the rap game) anyways. Jump-off... You're lucky I didn't put that one song on the Weirdo mixtape. I still love you, though! Hahahaha!

Now, if I can only find a porn starlet that reminds me of my most RECENT ex-girlfriend...


I'm out like school after Thursday.

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